Episode 2, nobody knows how to play

The show begins with 10 odd minutes of people just milling about before the challenge, the big deal out of all of this is that Black Tribe still really has no use for Model Girl, who looks for the idol with help from Brandon, a pretty buff guy, to no avail. Also Coach and Candace have a fight over cooking beans and rice. On Tribe Red, Taj admits she could buy and sell the rest of the cast three times over, why she's on the show or would get cast is beyond me, I mean really, once she admits this, her cover is blown, everything she does is tainted by the 'she's rich' stigma and not only is she rich, she's *really* rich, she's not earning like 500K a year, her husband earned tens of millions of dollars in the NFL, she's really on easy street...Of course she's the perfect person to take to the end now, cause nobody would give her more money, which also taints the game, cause you can plan around that fact. All around bad times.

We get to the challenge which is 'basketball in a river with wrestling"...Sandy tries to act wacky and funny for her tribe, but whatever on that...The big thing is that Red Tribe falls behind 2-0 before rallying for a big 3-2 win which earns them fishing gear and immunity.

Back at Red Tribe Stephan and JT bond, JT is declared by Stephan to be the "Tribe Leader" and he hopes that by bonding with the king, he shall be kept around a while longer, they try to fish, but fail, this matter little cause everyone's happy.

Meanwhile at Black Tribe, Candace declares that Coach sucks, he sucked in the challenge, he sucked at camp, he sucks, fuck him. Candace speaks for me now...She wants him gone.

Of course she said this out in public, where some nameless older woman on her tribe overhears it and brings it to Coach's attention. Coach's bullshit speeches about 'dying at the hands of a worthy foe' and 'alliance of the strong' go right out the window when the objective is 'saving my own ass' and he invents this idea that Candace is some sort of tribe killing poison that must be removed for the good of everyone else, the Sheep of Black Tribe seem to agree.

Meanwhile we have Exile Island to attend to, this time around Red Tribe sent Brandon to exile, because sending strong buff men who most likely have leadership status in their tribe is a great idea, I mean you really want people like that to find the idol and use it to crush you after the merger, the 'twist' was he got to take someone from Red Tribe with him, so he took Taj. He ends up getting the clue for the idol, which he can't figure out till he gets Taj's help, which basically was "The idol is back at camp, moron". He also is given the option of flipping tribes, Which he shoots down instantly, cause he's in good at his tribe. He and Taj chill and both of them think they have worked out a possible post merger alliance.

Candace hangs out with some random woman who may or may not be named Erinn. Candace for some reason decides that instead of bringing the hammer down on coach ASAP that it is best to let Coach run things for now since while he is useless, Model Girl may be more uselesser, of course having already called out Coach and started talking about a possible boot for him makes this not the greatest of plans, once you've stated your objectives in the open, with people who you're not in a clear alliance with, you might as well follow through and see who wins the power struggle, deciding to just back off and let your enemy run the game means your enemy might do something crazy, like vote you out for running around camp talking about voting them out.

Army Man and Naked Crazy Mormon hang out and talk about this whole crazy ordeal, the they seem to think the Coach plan of booting Candace is silly cause Model Girl is weak. This seems like a really fucked up tribe cause we got the alliance of Coach, Model Girl, and NOW voting for Candace, Candace and Erinn voting for Model Girl, Army Man and NCM now on the fence, and odds are Brandon will vote against Candace because he buddied up with Model Girl.

Fuck Coach. Oh by the way Mr. honor and nobility fucking walked out on his soccer team mid season, what a fucking prick.

We get to the tribal, where basically what we learn is that Coach is even more of a dick then normal, dressed in a dress shirt with a jacket and scarf, man this guy is such a fucktard, he throws his jacket over his shoulder in his 'badass moment of coolness' as he swaggers over to vote out Candace. Man I hate him.

Of course because this is how my life works, the whole tribe obeys coach and it's a 7-1 blindside of Candace who can't believe she got played like that, well next time if you want to take somebody out, work for it, don't just sit around and let them run the game.

I remember Cirie from Fans Vs Favorites when the rest of her alliance wanted to boot somebody out (Most likely the universally distrusted and hated Jonathan) but she was blindly against this and wanted Yau-Man out ASAP. She was so irrational and angry about this I half expected her to get herself voted out, but in the end she broke her alliance to her iron will. That's what wins this game, not mushy half-measures of "This guy is failing, but I'll let him run things for a while and then stab him in the back"

I mean that *can* be your plan, but if it is, then keep your mouth shut about it till it's time to strike, work alliances, build connections in your tribe that don't invovle the target, and when the moment comes, then bring up to people that your target sucks and they have to go.

Next week: Taj becomes a member of the Illuminati.