Episode 3, giving them a lay-up

Show starts with Coach bitching, because he's a bitch, his tribe lost and they suck, of course he doesn't suck merely 'his tribe' does...Erinn the ever useless is now the tribe outcast because she hung out with Candace the evil...

Red Tribe does some fun and frivolity and fail at fishing a great deal, before they are successful at fishing, which leads to fish to feast upon. Red Tribe is both pumped and jacked. They expect to totally pwn Black Tribe.

Reward challenge is one of those 'somebody directs the rest of the blindfolded tribe around'. You would think Coach, a giver of directions and a leader of people would be right for this job, but of course he doesn't do it, but Worthless Debbie is called in for this task. Steven I believe does the calling for Red Tribe, I could be mistaken, I ain't getting paid for this shit...

Coach pouts like a bitch some more...Black tribe's most pressing issue is that Jerry the Marine is sick, he's hurting bad and everyone's worried about him. Meanwhile Coach and Crazy Gay Mormon hatch an alliance and Coach proves he's an even bigger fucktard, calling CGM his 'assistant coach'...Man what a fuckass...

Fuck Coach...

Red Tribe get their tarp up and celebrate their awesome awesomeness, they really hope they can defeat Black Tribe at immunity and really drive the shiv in deeper.

At Exile we have Taj and Brandon, who are clearly an alliance and everyone's an idiot for not noticing.m They get the 'here's an idea as to where your idol is' clue. It says to look around where there is lots of wood, I'd have screwed this up and checked my tribe's campfire...But Brandon think's it's the treemail statue, he will be proven right later. Brandon and Taj decide that the two of them must find their idols and use them for an Uber-Alliance to crush the rest of the cast. Taj says she'll get Steven in, Brandon says he'll get Model Girl...And thus, the Illuminati are formed.

Immunity time, and it's our standard "Run around and then solve a puzzle" challenge, in this case the two tribes have to get 6 giant cubes and then after doing that, they must line up the cubes to spell the tribe's name on one side, and climb up the cubes to a platform. So the cubes have to be liked up 1 high-2 high-3 high. For the simulation of this challenge we see Red Tribe's cubes being used to spell out their tribe name, since the American Public wouldn't really find Black Tribe winning to be believeable...

Black tribe gets the lead, but blows it at the end, as usual, they fail, fuck them, and Red Tribe wins, outfuckingstanding! Burn in hell worthless Coach Tolerating Black Tribe. At the end of this challenge JTM decides to try to end his time on Survivor by declaring "I'm through, I'm finished."

We get back to camp and Coach is pissed, he's whining that because JTM is sick that he'll be voted out, which would keep the tribe strong, instead off voting out Erinn...Because as you recall when he got on the Island, Coach talked about forming an alliance that would allow him to settle his petty grudges and force everyone to suck his dick because he's so fucking awesome...Oh wait, he didn't say that, he said he wanted to 'change the way Survivor is played" by having an "Alliance of the Strong"...In this case "The Strong" is an ill man who's declared 'I'm finished' and the weak is a girl who's fighting to stay in the game...Coach of course is a fucking worthless dick...

Coach now goes to Crazy Gay Mormon and pouts about how much he hates Erinn, how he wants her to go hope, and how that's just how it has to be. CGM agrees, they HATE her...CGM gives a whiny miserable speech about how Erinn sees to 'lie to get ahead in the game' unlike CGM who LOSES WITH HONOR...Or some shit...I love when people give interviews to the camera where they say "fuck that asshole for trying to win, seriously, who the fuck do they think they are!" I mean, I didn't hear any Steelers defensive players saying "Man fuck Larry Fitzgerald for burning us for a 65 yard touchdown, it's like that asshole wanted to win the Super Bowl or some shit, what kind of a prick is he? Honestly." IT'S A GAME, FUCKING PLAY IT.

Coach now goes to Model Girl and some other generic female who's had no air time and basically tell them that in spite of the fact that Jerry is practically dead he should stay and Erinn should go, basically because Coach hates her. Model girl says Coach can suck a dick, that he was all about keeping strong people before and was going to boot her, now he's trying to keep a corspe just so he can spite vote out somebody, she's voting Jerry,

Crazy Gay Mormon decides that his previous stupid promo wasn't dumb enough so he decides to bury himself by cutting an absurd promo about how he likes to blindside people just for the sake of making them cry and hurting them, that he knows Erinn really wants to stay in the game, and to take that away from her would be wonderful. CGM is following in the footsteps of all those other famous survivor winners who've voted out people totally out of spite before. It's a great list of FUCKING NOBODY...God, CGM is now 2nd behind Coach for insufferable losers on this show now.

Brandon goes to the mailbox and finds his idol...Go Brandon, fucking own this shit! Illuminati represent!

We go to the vote, it's basically Coach and Erinn bitching at each other, mostly because Coach wants to be the leader of the tribe, but when asked who he thought should be leading, Jerry said Brandon....This led to all kinds of pointless talk...And now the vote

Jerry gets crushed in a rout, he's the only person who didn't vote for him. This is a really odd vote and I hate the way it was edited, because it really looked like Coach and CGM were hell bent on getting Erinn out, but in the end they voted for Jerry, did they just find nobody else who would be in on that plan, does Model Girl really have that kind of clout with the tribe? I mean Coach should have turned Useless Debbie, that's 3 votes, Jerry's a 4th vote, and they win...So how didn't they get to 4 votes? It's really odd...I really wish they showed us what really fucking happened at camp, I guess I'll have to go on CBS.com and watch "What really fucking happened to make Black Tribe vote out Jerry."

I will say that you NEVER...EVER EVER declare yourself 'done', 'finished' or 'spent' in Survivor, you suck it up, you fight through the pain, you do whatever you can to continue, because you give people an excuse to boot you, you get booted, I'm sure Jerry's reaction at the end of the challenge was just pure emotion and just a kind of shock at how tired he was, but it's the kind of outburst that ends a person's game, and that's why he's out.

Next Week: Taj welcomes Stephen into the Illuminati...